LozRants

It may sound awful (& strange), but sometimes I get more rest at work than staying at home. I know, I know. It sounds insane! But you try being at home with your kids and getting any rest. It doesn't matter that you are in bed, trying to sleep, groggy from cold medicine and some really good cough syrup. Whatever they have to say is so important that you must pay attention to them this minute and answer their almighty, most important questions, "Does this shirt match my shorts?" or "Mom, where's the milk?" I mean, get real here. Obviously, the outfit doesn't match if you have to ask and doesn't anyone look in the fridge anymore? Why invade my room at the other end of the house asking me what we have to eat for snack or dinner. I am not in the kitchen. I am not in the pantry. Figure it out.
I keep asking myself , "What am I thinking!" I should be at home in bed, but wait...I can go to work and sit at my desk, in my quiet cubicle and relax. Why go home to the zoo?! Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and my husband - but I need a few minutes to relax.

My cold has progressed to pneumonia.

I am sick.

I am miserable.

BUT, I am at my desk!

"Why?", you ask.

"Why not!", I reply. "My doctor told me to get some rest."

I am one of those people the you never want to follow....in the store...in the car...at the bank...anywhere. I always pick the wrong line. No matter what I am doing or where I am going, I will choose the wrong line. It may look like it's shorter or moving faster, but it won't once I am in that line. The machines, stop lights, whatever runs that line - will automatically start slowing or even shutting down. The lights will stay red longer, the car in front of me will move just slow enough that no other cars can get through. The person in front of me in line will have coupons or double coupons, something that they remember to pull out at the last minute. After their total has been rung up, so they have to start all over.
Don't get in line behind me at the store. I will be the person that grabbed the item without a code or price on it. There may have been dozens on the shelf with stickers, but I will inevitably grab The One without a sticker.
At the bank yesterday, while doing the ATM - it ate my card. This made the machine inaccessible for others in line behind me. Oh, yeah. I was real popular there.
Then I had to go inside & verify it is actually me that put my card in the machine.
Of course, they ask me to verify my Social # and of course they had it one digit off. There goes another 20 minutes of me explaining to them that they screwed up on their data entry.
After all that, I left my card at the bank.
I'll have to go back today - or maybe they can mail it to me. I'm sure my neighbor will give me my mail when the bank enters the wrong address. I'm sure of it.

Ever notice that on the days you wake up late - the rest of the day goes to hell? On those mornings when you need just one more snooze, those are the days the kids just won't get out of bed & get ready for school on time. You yell, rant and rave, but it's not gonna happen!
They are NOT going to get ready, they're only going to get upset & cry because you are yelling, ranting & raving that they need to move faster. This of course, makes them move even slower and stop whatever they are doing - to tell you to stop whatever you are doing.
It's going to be the day that you get a spot on your shirt before you even leave the house - wear it anyways & blame it on the kids if anyone asks about it.
It's going to be the day that you can't "catch up time on the freeway" because the nice policeman, that protects everybody, is following behind your car all the way to work.
You'll leave your coffee & lunch on the kitchen table - in easy reach for energetic dogs.
You'll have to give your lunch money to your kids because they forgot to tell you last night that they are out of funds in their lunch account.
And of course the car is empty of gas. You noticed it last night, but since the 'good' gas station is on the other side of the freeway, it's easier to reach while heading to work.
Your boss will be standing at (or near) the timeclock on the 3rd day in a row that you are late - by less than 2 minutes.
You finally find time to take a lunch break and the line at the bank ATM is so looonng, then of course the person at the fast food line is a "trainee". You realize the line was short because everyone else knew what was going on and had already abandoned this line. You think you are soooo smart finding the "short line" in the midst of the lunch hour rush.
You get back to work in time to clock in - but not eat.
And then it starts all over again the next day when you hit the snooze alarm for just a few more minutes...